Demi.
Girl, I know how you're feeling. I've been there. I've seen it so many times before. It happened to me, my mom a hundred fucking times, my girlfriends, everybody has it happen to them. You aren't alone, you know.
The main thing you gotta realise is that he isn't ever gonna change. He'll tell you he's sorry and that he can never find another girl as good as you, well that part is true but the sorry part, nah. He's lying just like he lied to you when he came over 2 hours late smelling of some cheap perfume, he's lying like that time he said he wasn't even going out, just staying in with the boys having some beers and then you see him in an insta story the next morning, grinding on some high school girl and he's saying he wasn't even there but you saw it and he's still lying.
It's hard I know. You gave him so much of your time, your energy and love. You pictured what your babies would look like and what kinda house you'd live in, him curling up with you on your sofa watching movies and your little family curled up next to you. But he didn't picture any of that girl, all he did was play you. And now all you gotta do is love yourself and let go. He just wasn't the one. Let someone else deal with his shit now, be strong, listen to your girls and focus on you. You're in charge now, own your feelings.
Photo by Rachael Henning
© 2020 Ema Shawcroft